don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
