her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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