you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
