Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
