I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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