physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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