he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize