they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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