this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
