I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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