that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
