we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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