You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
