I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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