I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize