Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
