Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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