You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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