It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
