At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
