I wish I could teleport
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
