sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it hurts more in the daytime
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize