i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
