K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
