how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
