I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
