I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
