Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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