I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
