I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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