fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
