put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
