I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
