One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
