You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
