Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize