is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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