For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
