You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
