Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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