1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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