I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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