Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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