Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
