those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
