is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
