Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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