just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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