The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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