The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
