how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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