did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
