Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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