You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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