4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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