Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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