doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
