If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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