So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
