You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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