I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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