We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
