pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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