8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
