It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
