He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
