Will you blow on my dice?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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