How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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