People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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