yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
