Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wish there were birth control emojis
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
