My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
