goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
